Winter is...

...depressing for me.

When I was younger I loved it. It seemed to snow more than it does now. I'm living in the same area that I grew up in...global warming, anyone??? I don't like being cold with no snow--what's the point?

I used to prefer being cold over hot. My theory was that you can always add a layer or two if you're cold but there's only so much you can take off if you're too warm. As I get older it seems like the cold affects me more. Almost to the point of making me angry. Dare I say --it makes cangry?? It's like being so hungry you're angry--hangry. Being so cold you're angry--cangry.

Christmas is a depressing time for me. I loved Christmas when I was a kid. It was such a magical time, even though my parents told me Santa was a lie. I love the meaning of Christmas but now it's a guilt-ridden time for me. Guilt because I can't afford to buy the kids what they want, guilt because I don't have time to do fun things like Elf on a Shelf (which creeps me out a little anyway), guilt because down deep inside I hate the work involved yet society tells me I must do this or that. If I was a stay at home mom and had money to burn I wouldn't feel so guilty. Although burning money gives me a guilt complex too. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty that I can't do what everyone is doing. Oy.

It really shouldn't be a depressing time for me -- two of my babies were born during the winter months so it's a chance to celebrate them. My birthday is in January...oo maybe that's it...I don't want to get older!

Maybe it's because the 7 of us live in such cramped quarters and we get cabin fever easily.

Who knows...it's not so bad that I need medication or therapy. I just notice that it's easier for me to get upset and I smile and laugh less.

Hopefully Spring will come early this year. I can't wait to feel the sunshine again.